ohmygaaaaaaaawd i haven't used lj in soooooo long
i kind of forgot i even had it hahahaha


so i am currently in ryan/alex's room
and they're both sleeping
creepy? i would say so
oookay and alex's music just went off and scared the crap out of me
and it seems to have had little or no effect on him waking up for class
thus i must intervene because WE'RE LATE.

I never thought the end of this summer would be so bittersweet......
I'm going to miss work and my co-workers. thanks for the awesome last day you guys =)



I HATE double packing >=(

lesson learned today: painting a room by yourself takes A WHOLE DAY.....at least.

I am alone. Alone here and alone in the world. Alone in my heart and alone in my mind. Alone everywhere, all the time, for as long as I can remember. Alone with my Family, alone with my friends, alone in a Room full of People. Alone when I wake, alone through each awful day, alone when I finally meet the blackness. I am alone in my horror. Alone in my horror.
I don't want to be alone. I have never wanted to be alone. I fucking hate it. I hate that I have no one to talk to, I hate that I have no one to call, I hate that I have no one to hold my hand, hug me, tell me everything is going to be all right. I hate that I have no one to share my hopes and my dreams with, I hate that I no longer have any hopes or dreams, I hate that I have no one to tell me to hold on, that I can find them again. I hate that when I scream, and I scream bloody murder, that I am screaming into emptiness. I hate that there is no one to hear my scream and that there is no one to help me learn how to stop screaming.

even if I could, I wouldn't change a THING about prom
it was amazing to say the least
much ♥ to everybody for making prom memorable
oh memory, don't fail me now cause I need this imprinted in my mind forever

an ottawa and prom post later when I have more time











okay fine maybe I would've made it longer...
freeze time or something, ya know :D

thursday says:
YOUR FACE
heidyyy says:
YOUR MOM
thursday says:
YOU FART ATP
heidyyy says:
yeah well you absorb methane!
thursday says:
YEAH WELL YOUR MITOCHONDRIA GOT STUCK IN THE ENDOPLASMIC RETICULUM
HAHAHAHA thank you william chooooooooooo for being so silly

I love laughter therapy
thanks w.chiu, s.yim, w.wong, a.chong, a.duong, a.lin, k.gates, j.yu, e.cho, b.yue, f.chiu, k.huynh for ALLLL the big laughs I had today ♥ you all :)

let's rewind back to september of 2005.
I miss how everything used to be...............

♥ iris, kelly, bador, aaron, sara.

soooooooooooooooooooooo....


today was calc, bio, physics, spare day
fullyyyy couldn't stay awake in calc today and today was the day she decided to pick on me and stare at me all class ANDDDDDDDDDD randomly we got like the last 20 minutes to do hw! IT'S SO FREAKY. in bio darby kept saying we had a lot to cover and we had a lot to do to catch up to the other class except the boys are so mean and asked him so many questions about giving birth hahaha. lunch was cram for physics uggghhhh. physics was faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaail my test =/. spare was libaray with people. I can't even remember one thing we talked about but I do remember that we were laughing the entire time which I must say is great therapy. I love love looooooove moments where you can look back and not remember one single thing said but you do recall how hard you laughed. after school was auto club EXCEPT I peeked in and nobody was there so I went to the commons and hung out with people. peeked into auto again and there was STILL nobody so went to the gym to watch cynthia play. felt....yeah so I left. sat outside with jess wu and samantha chow which is sooo random but so cool cause I totally miss them. went for snack with my mom and OMGGGGGGGG FUNNIEST THING IN THE WORRRRRRRLD. my sister called my mom and when she picked up she yelled WHASSSSSSSSSAP to my sister and so I grabbed the phone and laughed at claudia and she said that yesterday my dad left her a voicemail saying "hello claudia. this is father." HAHAHAHAHA I couldn't stop laughing. then went to shoppers while my mom went to the bank and then obviously my mom wanted to go to T&T. we bought asian bottled tea stuff (cause it was on sale) for my brother the tea loving fob. came home, did nothing, and then randomly wendy called! we talked for an hour which is sooooooooooo incredibly odd but so incredibly lovable. ate dinner, showered, watched ONEEEEEEE TREEEEEEEEE HILLLLLLLL. maaaaaaaaaaan I thought I would never cry as much as I did for the last episode but this episode was just as sad and I was bawling. it was sooooooo sad especially the whole thing with lucas and karen. or maybe I'm a huuuuuuuuge sap. AAAAAAAAAND today I watched my first episode of CSI. it was so intriguing and interesting and incredibly suspenseful. TODAY WAS FILLED WITH SOOOOOOOO MUCH RANDOMNESS. I blame spring.




stuck in a world no longer turning
always the girl waiting for something
too many days walking around sleeping
open my eyes
I'm tired of dreaming
sun on my face
lights of the city
maybe in love or just learning to be on my two feet
I can only imagine
I'll say the word and believe it'll happen
they think they know me but how can they know me?
I'm getting to know myself
I'm finally ready to be somebody with a story to tell
I wanna run with a reckless emotion
find out if love is the size of an ocean
even if I crash down and burn out at least I'm gunna know what it's like
I wanna feel until my heart breaks wide open
I wanna blaze like a fire that's growing
even if I crash down and burn out at least I'm gunna know what it's like to feel alive

music heals.

ps jake needs to come back before pete becomes a regular! THAT WOULD BE TOO WEIRD. can't wait for episode 18 =D LOVING NALEY

borrrrrrrrred to death so I decided to hop on the bandwagon as I ignore my pile of calculus hw...
and I don't know how to do an lj cut so tough luck

taken from dorkkie
Step 1: Put your MP3 player or whatever on random.
Step 2: Post a line from the first 20 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing the song.
Step 3: Post and let everyone guess what song and artist the lines come from.
Step 4: Strike out the songs when someone guesses correctly.
Step 5: Looking them up on Google or any other search engine is CHEATING!



1. "You can tell me why I just don't fit in and how you're going to be something"
Punk Rock Princess - Something Corporate [jkot]

2. "I guess it's better you trapped yourself in your own way and if you want me back you're gonna have to ask"
Buried Myself Alive - The Used [himothy]

3. "If she could just feel what I feel here in my heart she'd know it was real; pure and true right from the start"

4. "You always dress in yellow when you wanna dress in gold instead of listening to your heart you do just what you're told"
Why Not - Hilary Duff [michelle]

5. "Maybe you think you're not right for me but you'll never be everything I need"

6. "Holding tight and trying not to hide how I feel cause feelings mean nothing"

7. "You stole my past I want it back don't let the door hit your ass" [good luck with this one HAHA]

8. "Hit me and knock me out and let me go back to sleep"

9. "But if you'll be there when I drown, I don't want to hold your hand"

10. "I gotta get away find something to do cause everything I hear, everything I see reminds me of you"

11. "So keep bleeding your fake blood until noone even sees it"
Give Up The Grudge - Gob [michelle]

12. "I guess it's no use I'm screwing up every little thing I ever tried to do; I'm born to lose"
God Must Hate Me - SP [michelle]

13. "It seems like everyone we know is breaking up; does anybody ever stay in love anymore?"
I Promise You - BSB [krista]

14. "I want you in my room then spend the night together from now until forever"
Boom Boom Boom - Vengaboys [michelle]

15. "Hello, good morning, how do you do?"
Learning To Breathe - Switchfoot [s0ulistic]

16. "Oh how we love you; no flaws when you're pretending" [how ironic lols]
Everybody's Fool - Evanescence [ryan]

17. "And it feels like I'm at an all time low"
Head-On Collision - NFG [jkot]

18. "I could just pick up the pieces but to you this means nothing, nothing at all"

19. "You're the only one who really knew me at all"
Against All Odds - Mariah Carey feat. Westlife [monicaaaa]

20. "And still I have the pain I have to carry; a past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried"
Blind - Lifehouse [michelle]